[With thanks to Girl on the Net for inspiration for this page!]

Can I advertise on your site?
Sure, as long as you have a product or service I can stand behind! Email me at coffeeandkink69 (at) gmail (dot) com and we’ll talk. I can tailor placement and level of exposure to suit your product and budget.

Can I guest blog for you?
Sorry, not at the moment. I do not believe in asking other writers to work for free and I do not currently have the means to pay you. I’m hoping to grow my income from this blog sufficiently that I can pay a small number of contributors.

Can I commission you to write something for me?
Absolutely! Email me a brief outline, required word count and deadline to coffeeandkink69 (at) gmail (dot) com and I’ll see what I can do and get back to you as soon as possible. And if you want something that’s out of my area of knowledge, I can probably recommend you someone else.

Will you write something for me for free?
No, unless you’re A) a charity, B) a good friend and we’re trading favours/work, or C) so incredibly high profile that the exposure is worth it. Actually, in the case of C, if you’re that high profile you can afford to pay me. So no, almost certainly not.

Will you review my toy/book/product?
Absolutely! Ping me at coffeeandkink69 (at) gmail (dot) com with a brief description of your product and I’ll get back to you. I do charge for product reviews (except, of course, the ones I’ve written off my own back because I just loved (or hated, I suppose) the thing so much.) Commissioning me for a review doesn’t mean it is guaranteed to be gushing or even positive, but I can promise to be fair, unbiased, knowledgable and generally inclined towards looking for as many good points as I can.

Will you speak at my event?
Maybe! Send me details to coffeeandkink69 (at) gmail (dot) com and I’ll see what I can do. My bar for what I will support is quite high and my privacy is important to me so I will need to be sure your event is inclusive, sex-positive and has a sound photography (or lack thereof) policy.

Will you write a bespoke smutty story for me/my partner?
Sure! Email me your requirements to coffeeandkink69 (at) gmail (dot) com for a no-obligation quote.

Will you answer my sex/relationship question for me?
I’ll try! Email me questions to coffeeandkink69 (at) gmail (dot) com. I reserve the right to answer any questions submitted on the blog, with any identifying information stripped out. If you do not want this, please say so but understand that may mean you need to wait a little longer for a response. I’m also available for a small amount of private coaching on sex/relationship issues, if you want more in-depth advice and more of my time. If I can’t help with your particular issue, I probably know someone who can.

How can I support you?
– Support me on Patreon.
– Make a one-time donation via the Tip Jar on my homepage.
– Share my favourite posts with your friends on social media.
– Follow me on Twitter and retweet me.
– Commission me to write something for you.
– Invite me to speak at your event.

Will you write about [my specific kink?]
Maybe if it’s also of interest to me. Otherwise, probably not. Unless you’re paying me for an article or a bespoke story, in which case absolutely!

Can I meet you?
Unless you’re coming to one of the events I go to, no, sorry.

Will you scene with me/have sex with me?
No, sorry, I’m not an escort and my dance card for relationships/playtionships is full. I can recommend you some amazing sex workers if you’re looking for a pro, though.

Can I send you a dick pic?
Please don’t. It will be deleted and ignored.