[Toy Review] Lovehoney Desire Clitoral Vibrator

This toy comes to me courtesy of my friend TigerStripes, whose podcast Kinky Discussions you should totally check out!

This toy has a lot to recommend it. I’m a big fan of Lovehoney – they mainly avoid gimmicks and provide good quality toys at reasonable prices, with quick and discreet delivery. I bought my first ever sex toy (a tiny bullet vibe) from them nine years ago and I still go to them for the majority of my sexy needs.

This is a nice simple little clitoral vibrator. It’s USB rechargeable and waterproof. The front has 3 buttons – on/turn up, setting change, and off/turn down. It’s maybe 3 inches long and is inflexible but very soft. It also comes in an attractive and discreet case.

The end curves to a soft point which is perfect for those who prefer their clitoral stimulation very direct and focussed, or you can also use the rounder end for a more generalised sensation. For me, it actually worked best when I pressed it side on to my clit, but your mileage – and body – may vary. It has 8 different modes or ‘patterns’ of vibration. As is usual for me, I preferred the constant vibration turned on high, but it’s worth experimenting to see what works best for you. The ramp-up-then-back-down setting is perfect for a slow tease!

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
(Full disclosure: I got this at less than retail price from my friend. It retails at £59.99, which is definitely out of some budgets but worth spending for a good toy if you can afford it.)

Materials: ★★★★★
(It’s made of beautiful soft silicone and contains no latex or phthalates, which means it’s body-safe and also suitable for anyone with a latex allergy, as well as feeling absolutely gorgeous in your hand and in other places.)

Appearance: ★★★★★
(I can’t fault the design – it’s small and cute and it comes in either pink or purple. I do wish sex toys were more widely available in a greater range of colours, but that’s a gripe with the industry as a whole.)

Ease of Use: ★★★★★
(Very light, ergonomically designed and fits well in my tiny hand, which sometimes struggles to hold and manipulate the bigger toys for the 20+ minutes it can take me to get off. The buttons are easy to press and it’s so self-explanatory that I haven’t even opened the instruction booklet.)

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★★
(Easy to clean with a sterile wipe available from medical suppliers, or some toy cleaner available from most sex toy shops. It’s waterproof and silicone, so it should be safe to sterilise in boiling water too, which is how I prefer to clean my toys.  It’s not the obvious shape to use with a condom, but as always I recommend doing so if you’re sharing your toys with a non fluid-bonded partner.)

Versatility: ★★★★
(As I mentioned previously, it comes with 8 functions and the constant vibration speed can be turned up or down, and it can be positioned against your clitoris in different ways depending on where you like your vibrations focussed. It’s waterproof, so can be used in the bath if that’s your thing. Not suitable for internal use.)

Intensity: ★★★
(This is really the only place this toy falls down. I would have liked it to go a notch or two more powerful. That said, it did get me off, it just took longer than it would with a higher powered vibe. Good if you have a sensitive clit and find the Doxys and Hitachis of this world too overwhelming.)

Overall Score: ★★★★
Overall, I really like this toy and I recommend it alongside many of the things in Lovehoney’s range. I’m giving it 4 ★s instead of 5 only because, as mentioned above, it could stand to be a touch more powerful, and the battery time isn’t brilliant (~60 mins use for ~90 mins charge.)

Recommended for newbies and toy geeks alike.

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[Toy Review] Sexy Liberation Lipstick Bullet Vibe

Lipstick Bullet Vibrator

I absolutely love the idea of Sexy Liberation, a company that not only sells sex toys but also offers a small selection for free (for those outside the US, you have to pay shipping, but it’s pretty reasonable.)

They say:

“Many people don’t have access to or haven’t been exposed to the exciting world of sexual exploration, we want to help people, especially women, by being a stepping stone. Personal experimentation with sex aids can help women discover and embrace their own sources of pleasure.  And a woman who knows herself sexually will feel more confident talking honestly with her partner about her needs and desires. If you are woman in a relationship that is having trouble getting off, we are here for you.”

And for that, they are to be applauded.

Unfortunately, for me at least, the toy itself simply didn’t quite measure up. It’s not a bad toy, as such, and I am sure it would work well for plenty of people. But I found it underwhelming. I persevered through several attempts to get myself off with it, with some of my favourite porn for company, but I ended up giving up and using my hand instead.

Plus points: it’s discreet, it’s quiet, it’s ostensibly waterproof, and it was free.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★★
(You can’t do better than free on price! Even if you choose to buy it, it’s only $12.99 (about £10.)

Materials: ★★
(Meh. This thing is made of some kind of material simply described on the site as a “firm, non-silicone plastic.” Okay then. The information in the FAQs about toy safety is similarly vague. The toy is waterproof which means the plastic must be non-porous, so there’s that at least. But if you’re going to use a toy and don’t know exactly what it’s made of, I strongly suggest popping a condom over it first.)

Appearance: ★★★
(It looks like a lipstick, which doesn’t really appeal to me personally. I like my toys to either look like sex toys or look like beautiful works of art – the lipstick thing feels a bit ‘gimicky.’ On the other hand, the discreet look might work well for someone who is more nervous than I am about having something that actually looks like a vibrator in her nightstand, so I have to give it a point for that.)

Ease of Use: ★★★
(It’s super light and easy to hold and manipulate, and operates on a simple on-off twist motion. Unfortunately, if you turn it too far in the ‘off’ direction, the battery pops out.)

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★
(Easy to clean with a sterile wipe available from medical suppliers, or some toy cleaner available from most sex toy shops. It’s waterproof so you don’t need to worry about ruining the motor. However, it’s plastic and not particularly well made so I wouldn’t boil wash or dishwasher it, which is my favourite way of sterilising toys. It’s not the easiest shape in the world to use with a condom, but again I strongly recommend you do as the body safety of the material is not at all clear.)

Versatility:
(This toy has exactly two functions: on and off. The lipstick shape means you have a narrow edge for precision stimulation and a wider side for more general vibrations, but honestly it’s small and weak enough that I couldn’t tell the difference. It is waterproof, so could be taken in the bath or shower.)

Intensity:
(It has to be said that I found this thing pathetically weak. Even right on my clit, it did very little for me. The vibrations are light and buzzy (as opposed to my much preferred ‘rumbly.’ Might be okay for someone with an EXTREMELY sensitive clitoris or someone very nervous about trying vibrators, I suppose.)

Overall Score: ★★
Unfortunately, though I love the idea of this scheme, I cannot recommend this toy.

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[Toy Review] So Divine ‘Wicked Game’ Magic Wand

https://www.ocado.com/productImages/362/362947011_0_640x640.jpg?identifier=7bc6090490b119da9c1368e2f6689614

Toy: ‘Wicked Game’ Magic Wand
Made by:So Divine

This toy was a last-minute win at the end-of-Eroticon raffle, and I was excited to try it out as ‘wand style’ vibrators are consistently the toys I’ve got on the best with over the years. This lovely little thing was no exception.

I tried this out at the club with Mr CK, with him using it on me. For the purposes of full disclosure I should say I hadn’t had an orgasm for about 3 days before this session, but I’m not convinced that makes too much of a difference apart from possibly making me get off quicker than I would otherwise have.

What I love about this toy is that it’s really versatile. Both ends vibrate (though not, much to my chagrin, at the same time. You have to pick one or the other!) and one end is a traditional wand head while the other end is an insertable vibrating dildo. All in one toy! Nice, no? It also has ten different vibration modes – 3 constant speed settings and 7 pulsing patterns.

My favourite is the pulse setting that ramps slowly up, hits a peak and then drops down again. I love being teased (or teasing myself) into a frenzy and this setting does exactly that. For a quicker orgasm, though, the highest of the 3 constant speeds is wonderful.

Now this is where things get really interesting. Mr CK made me come with this toy – twice in an afternoon – really easily. Normally, someone else getting me to come is extremely difficult (possible, but difficult,) even if they’re using a toy I really love. I love my Doxy wand, it is my favourite toy in the whole world, but I come a lot more reliably when I use it on myself than when someone else holds it. Yet this toy is less powerful, but for some reason much more effective in giving me orgasms when in someone else’s hands.

My theory is thus: the Doxy is SUPER CRAZY POWERFUL, to the point that if it’s in the wrong spot – even slightly – it can become unpleasant or even painful extremely quickly. When I’m holding it myself, I know exactly what my body needs and can react accordingly, but my partners – wonderful though they are – do not actually live in my head. Or my clitoris. The Wicked Game, though, is significantly gentler than the mains-powered wands and so I can squirm against it, adjust it if needed, and let my partner know if it needs moving to a different spot before it becomes painful or unpleasant and throws me off my ‘groove.’

In short, I think this toy might be the sweet spot where “powerful enough to make me come” meets “gentle enough to have someone else use on me without discomfort.” I would recommend this for any vulva-owning person who likes vibrations, and I would particularly suggest it as a perfect first vibrator because the experience is so very customisable. Don’t know if you like internal or external stimulation, hard vibrations ot soft pulsing? No problem – with this, you can try them all out with one toy.

Incidentally: it’s also QUIET, which I gave up caring about years ago but might be of interest to those of you with roommates and/or family at home.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
(At £54.99 it’s not a steal and may be outside of some budgets, but it’s still cheaper than some of the really high-end toys on the market and with the amount of functions it comes with, it’s well worth the price.)

Materials: ★★★★★
(Lovely silicon. Soft, smooth and SAFE. Gorgeous.)

Appearance: ★★★★★
(It’s a lovely looking toy that comes in attractive pink or purple colours. Mine, of course, is purple.)

Ease of Use: ★★★★
(The buttons are a little hard to press – especially in the, uh, throes of passion – but apart from that there is an on/off button and buttons to cycle through the settings and switch between the internal and external settings. Nice and simple. Plus it’s light so easy to hold.)

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★★
(Easy to clean with a body-safe sterile wipe available from medical suppliers, or some toy cleaner available from most sex toy shops. It’s waterproof so could probably even be boil-sterilised if that’s your preferred method. For safer sex purposes if you share your toys, it’s condom-friendly in shape and material.)

Versatility: ★★★★★
(It has two ends, one insertable and one external, and ten different speed and pulse settings on each. Totally versatile depending on what you like and what you’re in the mood for today. It’s also waterproof, if wanking in the bath is your thing, and though it’s designed for vulvas it works equally well on a penis.)

Intensity: ★★★★★
I’ve given this 5 stars even though it’s not as intense as I typically like my vibes, for the aforementioned reason of hitting the sweet spot between “meh, not intense enough” and “DON’T MOVE IT A MILLIMETRE OR IT WILL HURT.”

Overall Score: ★★★★★
Yeah, I love this toy. I think it’s going to become my favourite new toy to use with a partner.

My Top 5 Sexy Products

Hello perverts! I hope you’re all having a sexy Monday so far. (Is there anything less sexy in general than Monday morning?)

A quick one today, before I head out to work.

There are so many amazing sexy products out there on the market today – SO many. And we all have our own preferences for our own reasons, which is wonderful. Today I wanted to share my Top 5 bedroom aids with you all.

  1. Doxy Wand
    The Doxy is the world’s most powerful wand massager. It’s mains powered and a giant beast of a toy. Mine was the first gift Mr CK ever gave me and remains the best present I have ever received from a lover. It’s the only toy that is more-or-less guaranteed, if it’s held in the sweet spot, to give me a quaking clitoral orgasm in ten minutes or less. (Two minutes or less if I’m really worked up.) Seriously, I could be a sales person for this toy, I don’t even know how many friends and lovers have bought one on my glowing recommendation. (Hey, if anyone from Doxy is reading this and fancies a sponsor partnership, get in touch…)
  2. Sliquid Lube
    I’m sure we all know the importance of good lube. I’d been having sex for about 4 years before one of my partners introduced me to the miracle of lubricant (the men I’d been with before then had been very much in the camp of “if you need lube, you’re insulting my masculinity. GET WET WOMAN.”) I’ve tried loads of different lubes over the years but Sliquid is my favourite by far. It’s water-based, all natural, body safe, vegan, unflavoured, unscented, easy to clean up, and there’s even an organic range. Particular shout out for the Sassy Booty Gel, specifically designed for anal sex (and ohhhh so good.)
  3. Rope.
    Anyone who knows me will know I looooove rope. I love it for many reasons: the scent (I’m a natural fibres girl and it just smells so beautiful,) the aesthetic, the coarseness or softness against my skin, the safety of being tightly held by my lover’s ropes or the thrill of having them helpless in mine. Most of all, though, I love the versatility. A partner can tie me to the bed for a quick-and-dirty fuck, or they can spend an hour or more doing an intricate tie where the rope itself is the sole purpose of the scene and our underwear doesn’t even come off. Rope can be sensual or painful, loving or cruel,  a means to an end or the end in itself. And whichever of these it is, I just love it. (My rope of choice is 4mm or 5mm poly-jute, but you should seek advice and choose what’s right for you.)
  4. Ben-wa Balls
    Now these are interesting. They’re essentially little weighted silicone balls that go inside the vagina and are held there by the vaginal muscles. They’re great for kegel toning (which can lead to a stronger pelvic floor and, in theory, more powerful orgasms,) but that’s not why I love them. For me they’re a dirty thrill, a sexy little secret: I can wear them under my work uniform, under a ballgown at a posh dinner, under my running clothes, and no-one is any the wiser. This is particularly sexy when a Dominant lover has ordered me to go out in them, knowing they’ll keep me worked up and horny the whole time they’re in. Not to mention that I can clench my muscles around them repeatedly and bring myself to a vaginal orgasm in less than a minute. (Mine are the Main Squeeze Double Kegel Balls from Lovehoney, but  there are loads of options out there.)
  5. My strap-on.
    I love gender-fuckery. I love fucking a guy in the ass. I love fucking a woman’s cunt. I love love love watching a partner’s pleasure when they’re on the receiving end of my cock. Is there any wonder I love strapping it on? Strap-on sex is a great equalizer – anyone can wear the toy and anyone can receive it inside them, regardless of gender or anatomy. It removes assumptions of who will be the fucker and who will be the fuckee based on genital configurations. (Mine is the Beginner’s Unisex Strap-on Harness Kit with 5-inch pegging dildo from Lovehoney, but again there are loads of options and you should shop around to find one that works for you.)

A toybag can tell you as much about a person as a bookshelf. What are YOUR top 5 toys?

[Toy Review] The Ruby Glow

Ruby Glow packaging

Toy: The Ruby Glow
Designed by: Tabitha Rayne
Made by: Rocks Off

To begin with, there are two things you need to know about Yours Truly. The first is that I know what I like and, when it comes to sex toys, what I like is lots and lots of hard vibrations right on that spot on my clit. For this reason, I haven’t bought a new vibrator since my amazing partner gifted me a Doxy nearly two years ago. The second is that I am endlessly curious and a bit of a geek. If something is a bit quirky, a bit different, or a bit “ooh, I’ve never seen one of those before,” I have to try it, especially if it relates to sex. Is there any wonder, then, that when I encountered the new Ruby Glow at Eroticon 2017 I simply had to get one?

The Ruby is, essentially, a ride-on external vibrator. It’s hands-free, non-penetrative and can be used through clothing or directly on the body. It has ten different settings and dual motors to control the vibrating vaginal/perineal mound and the clitoral stimulator, which can be used together or separately.

I first tried the Ruby sitting on the edge of my (epic, super-king) bed at the end of a good fuck with my primary partner, Mr CK. There were some pleasant vibrations coming from the toy but nothing that was going to have be screaming in orgasmic bliss any time soon.The problem, we quickly identified, was that the surface of the bed wasn’t rigid enough for me to be able to grind against the toy in a satisfying way.

‘What if you tried it on my desk chair?’ Mr CK asked. And that’s exactly what I did. Laptop in front of me with some of my favourite smut open, I put the toy between my legs and set it going. I tried a few settings. My favourite, by far, is the highest of the 3 ‘constant vibration’ settings on both my clit and my vaginal opening – but, as with anything else in sex, your mileage may very well vary.

I readjusted the toy a few times to get it on my clit in just the right spot, but once it was in place I could grind against it and fuck it easily, without needing to use my hands – keeping them free to browse through the delicious porn on my screen..

I’m not, typically, a girl who comes quickly from clitoral stimulation, but I do have my biggest and most satisfying orgasms this way if I persevere. It took me about 25 minutes to get off with the Ruby, and it was a deliciously slow and drawn out orgasm with a long build-up. Yum!

This toy is perfect for me particularly because I like to read erotica (typically on a screen but occasionally in a physical book) while I masturbate. Anyone who has done this will understand the fine art that is balancing a book/laptop/other device in one hand, while keeping the other free for finger action or holding a toy. The Ruby beautifully solves this problem. It’s also ideal for anyone who writes erotica and finds themselves getting turned on while working, anyone who engages in cyber sex and wants to wank and type at the same time, and anyone with joint or mobility issues that make using a hand-held toy difficult. In short, if you’re a person with a vulva who enjoys vibrations, I recommend you give this toy a try.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★★
(At £39.99 it’s comparable in price to many of the far less luxurious – not to mention less safe – jelly and plastic toys on the market, and more affordable than the high-end Lelo or Doxy vibes.)

Materials: ★★★★★
(It’s made of absolutely gorgeous, silky soft, body-safe silicon.)

Appearance: ★★★★★
(This toy is BEAUTIFUL. I’m not even kidding. And for someone new to sex toys, it looks a lot less threatening and scary than a giant wand or ‘rabbit’ style vibe.)

Ease of Use: ★★★★
(It takes some experimenting to get the angle and setting that works for your body, but once you’ve got that figured out it’s delightfully simple.)

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★★
(Easy to clean with a body-safe sterile wipe available from medical suppliers, or some toy cleaner available from most sex toy shops.)

Versatility: ★★★★★
(With two individually-controllable motors and ten different speed and pulse settings, an easily customisable wank is yours with the Ruby.)

Intensity: ★★★★
(Full disclosure here: I like my vibrations intense. I’ve found myself even wanting to turn my beloved Doxy, “the world’s most powerful massage vibrator,” up one notch higher than it goes. For this reason I’m giving the Ruby 4★ instead of 5 on intensity, because I’d have liked a setting or two higher. I completely acknowledge this will not be everyone’s experience and it still gave me a glorious orgasm!)

Overall Score: ★★★★★
Beautiful, safe, innovative, versatile and easy to use. What more could you want in a toy?

(All pictures in this post used by kind permission of the Ruby Glow team.)

Ten Things I Took Home From Eroticon

The amazing Jenny, who I met on the Sunday of Eroticon, started this lovely meme and I just couldn’t resist taking part. In short: it was utterly wonderful and may even have changed my world a little bit.

So what did I bring home from Eroticon 2017?

1) SO MUCH SWAG

Thanks to the amazing sponsors, I came away with a bag full of amazing free stuff including two mugs, two very NSFW t-shirts, a notebook that has already been heavily scrawled in, a goodly amount of condoms, and a pamphlet of mini erotic stories perfect for reading on the Tube.

 2) Friendships

There were people at Eroticon I’d previously considered ‘internet friends,’ who are now real-life friends. There were people who were strangers on Friday and friends on Monday. There were people who I met only briefly, but who gave me so much, whether it was a conversation, a business card, their beautiful words or even just a smile in the corridor. And there are people, many people, whom I want to keep in touch with and build my new-found friendships with.

3) A renewed sense of community

The thing I love the most about a good ‘Con is the sense, however fleeting, of being not alone. I spend a lot of my time feeling quite isolated, especially because the practicalities of life mean I live far away from almost all the people who really get me. Eroticon has reminded me that there are people like me out there, and that we might be separated by miles but we’re joined by something much more powerful – Community. (And also Twitter a little bit.)

 4) An exciting new toy (actually, two)

I picked up the new Ruby Glow this weekend. I’ve only tried it out very briefly so far but what I’ve seen (well, felt) I liked. I’m looking forward to settling down for a nice long wank with it and some good smut, and then reviewing it for the reading pleasure of all you lovely pervs. I was also lucky enough, right at the end of the ‘Con, to win a cordless Magic Wand from So Divine. I doubt any vibe will replace my beloved Doxy, but the cordless Wand will be perfect for when we’re playing at the Club or other places where there isn’t a power point nearby.

 5) A new name

I’m not quite ready to reveal it just yet, but after thinking long and hard (heh) about it, I’ve decided not to use either my kink scene name or my real name (duh, right?) as the name under which I will write and hopefully publish erotic fiction. I took some advice from the incredible Kayla to pick a name that feels right for me to use and answer to, and which has some kind of personal relevance, and I think I’ve found the one.

 6) Story ideas

SO MANY STORY IDEAS, you guys. Article ideas too. And probably poetry ideas, but they won’t go any further than my notebook and possibly Fetlife page – the poor unsuspecting world does not need my attempts at poetry unleashing upon it. Seriously, I have like a whole page in my notebook just listing smutty stories I want to write, and another page listing possible article or blog post topics.

 7) Contacts

Two people from the weekend have already asked me to guest-write for their blogs (thank you Kayla and Exhibit A!) I’ll certainly be taking them up on these lovely offers and I’ve also come away with business cards, names of publishing imprints and more – in other words, contacts I hope I can utilise to get my work out there and hopefully, eventually, make some money in this game of ‘writing about sex.’

 8) Revitalised ambition

There’s nothing like a weekend around other people on a similar path to kick-start your own ambitions. Mine have been sleeping recently, as I cope with the realities of a complicated relationship and a demanding day job. But now I’m feeling more motivated than I have in years and I’m ready to go out there, kick ass, take names and WRITE SOME SMUT. I don’t ever expect sex writing to be my full-time job (especially as my ‘vanilla’ (ugh) writing career is also really important to me,) but for the first time I’m looking at this as something that might be more than just a bit of fun and a way to entertain the three people who read what I post on Fetlife.

 9) Confidence

This might be hard for you to believe of the girl bouncing around in kitty ears and a t-shirt with the word ‘FUCK’ emblazoned across it (thanks, Fuck.com) and reading porn on the Tube, but… I’m actually quite shy. Shy, plagued by anxiety and lacking in self-esteem, to be entirely honest. I went into this weekend jittery with nerves, not just at the thought of socialising with new people but also worrying I’d be seen as a fraud, a fake, an amateur, not a serious or ‘real’ writer. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Not only did the people who have read my work say absolutely lovely things about it, those who are much further on in their sex writing journey were also totally validating and amazing to those of us who are just starting out. Where I was scared of elitism, I instead found a supportive and loving community.

 10) Words of affirmation

There were so many great things said over the weekend, and lots of the most quotable parts were live-tweeted (check out #Eroticon for just some of the fun!) But the pieces that really struck home for me, I scribbled in my notebook – partly for the joy of writing beautiful words by hand, and partly so I can come back to them any time to remind myself.

I leave you all with the words of affirmation, love and community and are immortalised in ink in my jumbled set of notes from the weekend:

You are not alone. You are not broken. (Formidable Femme)

RELAX. (Alix Fox)

No-one does what you do quite like you. (Girl on the Net)

Stand firm with your boundaries. (Sorry, I can’t remember who said this.)

See you all next year x